


The Over-Analysis of Erin Strauss

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 14:23:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1782217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Women had made many inroads since coming into the FBI in 1972.  There was still a long way to go 16 years later.  Kirk was sure, and Jason didn’t need much convincing, that Erin could be one of the leaders of that charge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Over-Analysis of Erin Strauss

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Discussion of crimes involving sexual assault.
> 
> Author’s Notes: This is all vegawriters’ fault. I wrote this a year ago when I was visiting her. I have no idea where it came from except the characters bring to life the craziest things when we’re together. I found it while cleaning my room, decided to brush it up, and put it out there.

** SPRING, 1988 **

“Agent Strauss?”

“Oh my God!” Erin grabbed her FBI Academy tee shirt to cover her sports bra. “Sir, you're not supposed to be in here.”

“Why not?” Dave Rossi asked.

“It’s the women’s locker room, sir.”

“Is it?” he looked around but she was the only person in there.

“I know there's not a lot of us, but yes.” she nodded. “Perhaps you’ve wandered in here before.”

David Rossi’s shenanigans in the FBI were legendary. While she had no idea if any of it was true, he loved letting it spread like wildfire.

“It’s possible.” He shrugged. “I'm sorry, I’ll make this quick. You're going with me to Hayden.”

“What's in Hayden, sir? Where is Hayden? I really need to put my shirt on.”

“It’s in Kootenai County, Idaho about ten miles from Coeur d’Alene, which is one of the state’s major cities. I'm not going to stop you from putting your shirt on, Strauss.”

“I’d just appreciate it if you turned around.” Erin said.

“Seriously?”

“Yes sir.” She nodded.

“Why do you call me sir?” Dave asked. “Only the noobs and the plebes call me sir…and the guys who are afraid of me.”

“You're my direct superior; it’s the proper thing to do. Just as turning around when an exposed woman asks you to do so is.”

“Shall I make you a deal?”

“Am I in any position to turn you down?” she was seething but took a deep breath.

“I’ll turn around, gladly so.” Dave did it as he spoke. “But you’ve got to stop calling me sir. My father was sir, and he was damn good at it too. I'm just Dave.”

“I’ll try my best, s…Dave.” Erin made a face. “I don’t like it.”

“You don’t like Dave?” he turned back to face her.

“I’ll just call you Agent Rossi, if you don’t mind.” She reached into her locker and grabbed her gym bag. It had been a good workout and Erin was sure she smelled like a water buffalo. But considering how easy it was for a man to get in there she would just take a shower at home. It was warm enough to drive home with the windows down.

“What's in Hayden, Idaho Agent Rossi?” she asked again.

“A serial killer perhaps.” Dave replied. “They know they have four dead women, and with a population barely touching 16,000 that’s a noticeable loss. There's also the possibility that similar murders took place in neighboring counties. Departments aren't good for sharing information like that. The Hayden PD were reluctant at first but finally called in the BAU.”

“This will be my first field assignment.” She said.

“I know.”

“Why me?”

“Why not you?” Dave countered.

“I've been looked over several times for a variety of field cases, Agent Rossi. I'm trying very hard not to believe it’s because I don’t have a cock swinging between my thighs.”

“Actually, the rumor is…”

“Agent Rossi!” Erin exclaimed.

“I'm just joking.” Dave laughed some, holding up his hands in defense. “I'm sorry, bad joke. It was a really bad joke.”

“Son of a bitch.” Erin muttered. 

She didn’t know how deep under her breath it really was but what else could she say. She would never be ‘one of the boys’, and didn’t want to be. She just wanted to be a behavioral analyst. All the hard work she put in for the past 12 years as an agent and the nine months before that in the Academy had to be worth something. Right?

“You're on this case, Erin.”

“Is there a team going?’ she stood and put her gym bag over her shoulder. Erin closed her locker and spun the combination lock.

“We don’t want to overwhelm them; they hardly want us there as is.” He replied. “Right now it’s just going to be you and I but there's a chance Ryan could join us.”

“I appreciate this opportunity, sir.”

“We’re going to have to work on that, Erin.”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

“And you deserve this. I'm not giving you some chance to prove yourself. You’ve already done that. I'm taking the agent I think will best help me analyze the killer. It’s not about solving the case, it’s about using the skills we have to fill in gaps in local law enforcement’s work. They're going to solve this case.”

“Yes sir.”

“We’re really going to have to work on that.” Dave smiled as he turned and walked out of the locker room. “Have a good evening.”

“You too.”

Erin wasn’t even sure that he heard her, he was already gone. She just stood there for a few moments and tried to let it all sink in. After two years busting her ass, she was finally going out in the field. It wasn’t as if Erin hadn’t worked BAU cases. She did conference calls and analysis from the many requests that passed over her desk. 

She worked on mock analysis with Academy students. She was an exemplary agent and many told her so. But she couldn’t crack the brick wall in that place. The boys were running the show; they didn’t like anyone forgetting it. Erin would only have one chance to prove herself even if Dave Rossi said different. This was it.

***

“I'm on the case.”

“Which case?” Aaron Hotchner sipped his bourbon. They were at Nixon’s, a little hole in the wall bar in Quantico. Surprisingly, not many agents went there for drinks. That’s exactly why they did.

“I'm going to Hayden, Idaho. David Rossi walked into the women’s locker room at the Academy to inform me. There may be a serial killer operating there.”

“That sounds like something Dave Rossi would do. This is good news.” He leaned over to light her cigarette.

“Are you sure?” Erin asked. She took a deep inhale, slowly blowing out the smoke.

“I don’t understand the question.”

“Aaron, you're Fordham and Duke educated, I know you understand the question.” She sipped her Riesling.

“I want this for you, Erin. I want this for you as much as you want it. I know that you think that Max Ryan doesn’t take full advantage of your abilities.”

“Max Ryan is a douche…and that’s probably an insult to douches. He’s a decent analyst, there's no point in arguing that. But the one thing he wants to take advantage of where I'm concerned has nothing to do with my analyst abilities.”

“He's a legend.” Hotch reasoned.

“I think he made up half of those stories.” Erin rolled her eyes.

Hotch smirked. Everyone knew that Max was a jerk. He, along with Jason Gideon and David Rossi, had been there practically from the beginning a decade ago. Most people referred to them, out of earshot, as The Motherfucker, The Master, and The Maverick, respectively. If Max wasn’t as good as he was they probably would’ve found a way to knock he out on his ass a long time ago. The worst thing was that Max knew he was good and would tell the story to anyone listening. As the only female analyst in the unit, it hadn’t been an easy road for Erin. 

She’d earned it just as everyone else there had. She probably did more work than almost anyone else there. That didn’t stop Max from calling her Triple A, the affirmative action analyst. It didn’t stop him from making comments about her body, sex, and even occasionally putting his hands where they didn’t belong. Aaron knew these things. These things made his blood boil. The fact that he felt helpless to stop it made him angrier. 

Max was covert with the things he did, at least he was now. Reporting him would be more trouble than Erin wanted or needed. What she really wanted was to find a place to bury his body. Her feelings, though mostly unspoken, were whispered about inside the unit. 

She knew that but didn’t care. Max wasn’t the only one who made a move on there. But he was surely the only one who wasn’t nursing a sore ego, at the very least, when the encounter was over. She couldn’t unleash her full power on him. That made her almost as angry as his behavior.

“I've given up a lot for this.” She said. “I've given up more than I ever thought I would have to. If it’s going to be worth it, this has got to work.”

“I know about sacrifice.” Hotch said. “I didn’t wake up one morning and decide it was the FBI or nothing. I walked into this by accident. Like a spider’s web, it’s hard to shake off.”

Both Aaron and Erin were divorced. They were parents that didn’t see their children even half as much as they wanted to or should. Society didn’t make Aaron feel like shit for being an absentee father. Erin could be, and had been, vilified.

“Hayden is my chance.”

“It’s not as if you haven’t done good work before that, Erin. You helped break the Poughkeepsie Strangler case. Six men were dead and it was on its way to being cold.”

“I was especially impressed when Max held that press conference and took all the credit for it.” Erin took a deep inhale of her Marlboro Light.

“That’s a bit harsh…he didn’t take all the credit. Most of it, of course, but not all of it.”

“I think you should stop talking now.” She pointed at him.

“Why?”

“Because right now I'm 95% sure that I'm sleeping with you tonight. Keep defending Max Ryan and watch the odds dwindle to zero.”

“I'm shutting up.” Hotch said.

It wasn’t love but the occasional sex was quite good for her. She had a feeling that it was good for him too, though they made sure never to have conversations about it. Right now it was a soft place to fall. The stress of the job could slowly kill a person and together, Erin and Aaron de-stressed. 

Sometimes they even had pillow talk. Erin felt relaxed when she talked to him. She knew this relationship was against the rules but that didn’t stop her from doing it. It wasn’t love so no one would get hurt. She and Aaron were both adults. They could handle it. She hoped they could handle it.

“Do you want to have dinner?” he asked.

“I have omelet fixings at my apartment.” Erin replied. “Are you hungry for something else?”

“I'm not in the mood to be slapped.” Aaron said. When he smiled, his dimples made their first real appearance of the evening. 

Those damn dimples were what slayed her the first night she fucked him. They had been working together for nearly a year before Erin even saw the man smile. Sometimes she wished she never had.

“That’s not what you said last night.”

He looked at her and she was smiling too. Hotch’s job was done. It was no easy feat to get Erin Strauss to smile. He probably held that cause in higher regard than he should have. There was something in him that wanted it to be alright for her. Hotch knew that would eventually come back to bite him in the ass.

Erin could handle herself and didn’t need a white knight. She would kill him if she knew what he thought about sometimes. Hotch planned to keep it to himself. That’s all he could keep to himself tonight.

000

“I really do like it when you cook for me.”

“There are two things every Southern boy better be good at…making breakfast and fixing cocktails.”

“Did Truman Capote say that?” Erin asked. She turned to look at Hotch as he went to the top of her bed with his plate. She was lying at the bottom in her underwear with a bottle of hot sauce.

“No, it was Amelia Devereaux Hotchner Preston.”

“Is that your mother?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“We don’t talk about your mother.”

“We don’t talk about your mother either.”

“Her name is Joanna Parkinson-Kane.” Erin said. 

“That sounds like something out of a novel.”

“Oh, and Amelia Devereaux Hotchner Preston doesn’t?” she smirked. “That’s about as Southern Gothic as it gets. Blythe Danner could play her in the film adaptation.”

“Mama would hate that.” Hotch laughed. “Blythe Danner is old Philadelphia money…I think Joanne Woodward is a better choice. It’d be a lot of Eve Black with a dash of _From the Terrace_. There would probably be a handful of M’Lynn Eatenton in there as well.”

Erin smiled as she poured a liberal amount of hot sauce onto her omelet before eating it. They'd just had the most amazing sex. Erin didn’t like calling it making love; that wasn’t what it was. It was wet and dirty and sexy. 

It always made her feel high afterwards, which then made her hungry. Still, it was just sex and it was better not to attach too many emotions to it. She was going to enjoy her afterglow, eat her amazing breakfast for dinner, and debate about whether or not she’d make Hotch drive home or let him stay. The rain was coming down now but that didn’t automatically end the debate.

“The sex was good but thankfully it didn’t kill my buzz.” She said.

“I know what you're talking about, but sometimes I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said. 

Sometimes Erin said things and Hotch didn’t know how to respond. He thought she might say them to throw him off. But her voice almost always sounded genuine. As strange as it was, Hotch believed Erin actually felt comfortable enough when they were alone to say to him whatever came to her mind. It didn’t matter if it made sense or not. He thought she might not be able to do that with very many people. That may have just been the egomaniac in him.

“I mean that statements difficult to understand could come out of my mouth randomly for the next few hours. There are many pistons firing in my brain at the moment. Some might go off without warning.”

“You're rather adorable when you're drunk.” Hotch said.

“And you can be brooding and temperamental. I can handle it though.”

“No comment.”

“I still love your omelets though.” Erin looked back at him and smiled. “Thanks.”

“You're welcome.” He reached out and rubbed her leg. “And for me too, Erin.”

“For you too, what?”

“The sex was good.” Hotch replied.

“Isn’t it always?” 

“Well…”

“It’s not always?” she stopped eating. She sat up, turning to face him and sitting yoga style with her plate on her lap.

“Don’t let your omelet get cold.” He said.

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I know what you're thinking but you don’t need to think that. You're thinking that I possibly find our sex to be mediocre and that means I find you to be mediocre. I've never said either.”

“Don’t you profile me, Aaron Hotchner.” She balled up her napkin and threw it at him.

“I'm not doing that.” He shook his head. “I do my best never to do that.”

“Yeah right.” Erin wondered if that was true or not. Despite herself, she profiled him all the time. She profiled everyone, including herself. “I'm not going to let my omelet get cold.”

“That’s what I said.”

She licked out her tongue and went back to her meal. Erin was going to let him stay. She would have sex with him again and set the record straight. Maybe that was his plan all along and Erin stepped right into the trap. She didn’t care. The word mediocre was not in her vocabulary when it came to how she did things.

“Tell me one thing about your mother.” She said.

“I'm sorry?”

“That response is a stall tactic and you know it. Tell me one thing about your mother.”

Erin didn’t know why she wanted to know. It wasn’t as if she and Aaron didn’t talk a lot. They worked together at Quantico every day. She might call him a friend if someone brought it up. She hoped no one brought it up. They were surely more than fuck buddies. Maybe they should start acting like it, though she didn’t know how facts about his parentage would help that along. 

It would make things more personal, which she had been trying not to do for eight months now. She didn’t need this thing to get topsy-turvy. But if he didn’t tell her anything Erin would know where she stood. That was the theory anyway. She was usually really good with theories.

Looking at him, she couldn’t help but think about how handsome he was. The hazel eyes, dimpled cheeks, sexy runner’s body, and five o’clock shadow kept the women at Quantico lurking. Aaron Hotchner preferred to be alone, which only made him more desirable to them. Tonight he was alone with Erin. They were alone together more than ever lately.

“My mother was born in Manassas, Virginia to a wealthy tobacco family, who once lived on an antebellum plantation ala Tara.”

“What was the plantation called?” Erin asked.

“She told me once but I honestly have no idea. My maternal grandparents had moved to a smaller, yet still opulent estate by the time I came along.”

“Those who don’t know their history, Aaron Hotchner, are doomed to repeat it.”

“I think the odds of my becoming Rhett Butler are quite low.” He smiled. “Will you tell me something about your mother?”

“Her mother was Parisian and her father born in Cornwall.” She said. “She was raised in London and Paris until coming to the U.S. at 17 for college. She's a writer who throws glamorous parties where creative elites get together to smoke, drink, and snark at the world just like Dorothy Parker.”

“Really?”

“Mmm hmm.” Erin nodded as she ate her omelet. “My father is a college professor so when all of their friends were in one room it was fascinating to a child. I would crouch down by the couch or under a table where no one noticed me and just soak it up. Often one of my parents would carry me off to bed after I fell asleep where I was eavesdropping.”

“Did your parents react badly when you told them you wanted to be an FBI agent?” Hotch asked.

“They just wanted me to do something that made me happy and where I could constantly grow and learn.” Erin replied. “It wasn’t easy for them to swallow, as the job could be dangerous, but they’re very proud of me.”

“I think that’s nice.”

She could tell from his tone that it probably didn’t go quite the same way with his parents. She wouldn’t push; there was no need to upset him. So instead Erin crawled across the bed and into Hotch’s lap. She put her empty plate on the nightstand. Taking the plate from his hands, she put it on top of hers.

“You were mostly finished that, right?” she asked as she slipped her arms around his neck.

“I wasn’t even thinking about it.”

“You could stay tonight. You probably shouldn’t drive in this weather anyway.”

“I could.” He nodded, stroking her hips. “We don’t have to over think it.”

“I'm not.” Erin shook her head.

“OK.”

“Shut up, Aaron.”

“I think you might get off on being rude to me. I wonder how that would profile.”

“You bastard.”

She kissed him. Running her fingers through his hair, Erin moaned as he deepened the kiss. Hotch pulled her closer and the way her body pressed against his made her shiver. Her nipples hardened as his experienced hands moved up her sides to stroke her breasts.

“You are so damn beautiful.” He murmured, hands now on her face as he slid down on the mattress and rolled them over. 

“Damn you, Aaron Hotchner.”

He grinned as he lifted the flimsy Hanes tank top over her head. He wanted her. He wanted her naked and wanton. Sometimes Hotch wanted her so much that he thought his head might explode. It was an animal craving but becoming something more.

The two of them could argue all day on everything from politics to books to appropriate shoes for field work. There were times when he believed that arguing was foreplay to Erin. But when they were in bed together it felt comfortable. He wasn’t comfortable in a lot of places in his life right now Hotch was unsure if they had what was needed to build the foundation for a solid, long term relationship. They were both so fractured; even friends with benefits might not end so well.

He didn’t want to think about that as Erin slid her panties down her legs. He just wanted to be inside her. He wanted to thrust and feel her grip his shoulder blades or his hips. He only wanted to think about the way she said his name in ecstasy. He only wanted to hear the way he responded in kind. There was plenty of time, too much time really, to think about everything that could go wrong. This moment was right and they should both be allowed to enjoy it.

***

“What do you know about Alex Blake?”

“Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.” Erin reached out to punch him in the shoulder before closing the door of her BMW. “What are you doing out here?”

Grant Anderson wasn’t a Supervisory Special Agent but he was part of the BAU. Some of the guys called him the BAU bitch; he did a little bit of everything as part of support staff. Erin liked him. He was smart, quick, and good at being invisible. Anderson was her ace in the hole. If those men up there were too dumb to see all of his value, she was not. Someday, when she took over the whole damn thing, he was coming with her.

“I came to warn you.” Anderson shook off the punch. He was carrying a big black umbrella to protect them from the rain.

“Are you being overdramatic again?” she asked.

“I'm really not.” He shook his head. “Do you know anything about Alex Blake?”

“Um…she's a linguistics specialist out of New York City. She's done some work with the BAU before. The Smiley Face Killer in 86 comes to mind.”

“Headquarters could be considering her for a top spot when Hall retires in six months.”

“Excuse me?” Erin stopped walking so quickly, she was sure her Stuart Weitzman pumps screeched.

“Do you still think I'm being overdramatic?” Anderson asked.

“Where did you hear this?”

“There have been some whispers.”

“I haven’t heard a thing.” Erin said.

“It’s much more obvious when you're hanging around the big offices than when I am.” Anderson said. “Gideon loves the idea, Rossi most likely gave it the nod, and Ryan is a pig who doesn’t want a woman around if he doesn’t have a chance to fuck her.”

“I heard a rumor that Blake was gay. Not that I believe everything I hear around here. In fact, I usually believe nothing I hear around here.”

“She's married, to a doctor. She's definitely not in the closet. I know what in the closet looks like and it’s not Alex Blake. I mean, she might be into a little something extra but she's happily married as far as I know. I have my sources.”

“Are you sure about this? Grant, don’t do this to me right now if you're not sure. Fuck, this is bad.”

“I don’t think this puts your position in any danger but I thought it better to warn you anyway.” Anderson said. “There is nothing the men around here would like to see more than a catfight.”

“Rossi just gave me the Hayden case; I'm finally going out in the field.” Erin said. “I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to start worrying every five minutes again. Do you know what stress does to a person? Stress kills, and that’s a scientific fact. It causes wrinkles, insomnia, high blood pressure, and makes your hair fall out.”

She took a deep breath, regretting that she didn’t have a cigarette on the way in that morning. It was going to be a busy Thursday. Erin was proctoring a Bureau in the Media course in the afternoon. She was sure some SACs would be there reviewing her instructor skills. There were plenty of case files on her desk as well. If the pile got too high…she didn’t even want to think about Max Ryan looking over her shoulder. Erin had done a great job of avoiding him for the past week or so.

“OK, this is what we’re going to do. We’re going to do absolutely nothing.”

“We are?” Anderson looked at her strangely. He opened the door to the building for her.

“First of all, for all I know I'm getting my panties bunched up over nothing. I can't handle that today. We’re leaving for Hayden on Monday so I have the weekend to get ready for the big show. If they want to bring in Blake, who am I to object? We shouldn’t be tearing each other down; there aren't enough women here as it is.”

“That, and if Max Ryan tries to get rid of you on some bullshit we’ll kick him into next week with a lawsuit the likes of which the Bureau has never seen.”

“You kinda scare me sometimes.” Erin looked at him as the elevator doors closed in front of them. The BAU was on the sixth floor.

“Soon everyone around here will recognize that I'm more than just a pretty face.” Anderson said.

“I really need a cigarette.”

***

“That green is a good color on you.” Kirk pointed to her v-neck ribbed blouse, which Erin wore with a black pencil skirt. “It brings out the green in your eyes.”

“You're a fashion guru now? Not that anything would surprise me where you're concerned.”

Kirk Douglas had been with Erin every step of the way since even before the Academy. They met at Columbia University during Erin’s senior year. She attended Barnard and was about to graduate magna cum laude with a dual degree in history and political science. Erin had already been accepted into Columbia’s Political Science graduate program. 

Kirk spoke at a seminar about women in the Bureau, something new since the death of J. Edgar Hoover in 1972. He was witty, charismatic, and Erin felt herself drawn into what he was saying. The FBI never crossed her mind. She thought she’d either get her PhD and teach like her father or work for the United Nations. During a half hour of conversation after the seminar, Erin was reconsidering her options. 

Graduate school was a must and Kirk understood that. The Academy would be waiting for her. After graduating Columbia she enrolled in a nine month, intensive Social Psychology program at Bradshaw University in Toronto. Then she went on to nine months in the FBI Academy. That was such a hard time for Erin but she never gave up. 

She faced rampant sexism and there were even times she felt unsafe. There were only 77 women in her class of 514. There was also little allegiance amongst cadets. Everyone wanted attention, prime spots, special favors…the place could resemble a war zone. Erin made it through and graduated fourth in her class. 

While there was a chance to return to New York and work in their field office, Erin instead went to DC. For two years she worked in the small Cold Cases Division. It was great work but after getting her feet wet as a field agent, she was ready to move on. Kirk recommended her for the Terrorism and Intelligence Department. The U.S. was still in the thick of the Cold War. The world had been at some kind of war since Hitler invaded Poland in 1939. 

Erin was one of three women in the elite department. Her work there was what got the attention of Jason Gideon. It wasn’t as if Erin didn’t know who he was. If the FBI was high school, which it sometimes resembled, the Behavioral Science Unit was the cool kids’ table. Gideon read her personnel file and was quite impressed. 

Kirk, who was currently Special Agent in Charge at the FBI Office of Congressional Affairs, had nothing but amazing things to say about his protégé. She was the one; she could shatter the glass ceiling. Women had made many inroads since coming into the FBI in 1972. There was still a long way to go 16 years later. Kirk was sure, and Jason didn’t need much convincing, that Erin could be one of the leaders of that charge. 

While her time in the BAU so far couldn’t be described as adventurous, she’d analyzed many cases. She’d shown herself to be intelligent, hard-working, and dedicated to the job. Despite issues with Max Ryan, Erin’s work was being recognized. She did her best to stand out from the pack in a way that had nothing to do with her gender. 

Just that afternoon she’d proctored an Academy course. She held the cadets’ attention and though she was a no nonsense instructor, the courses she lectured were never boring. Kirk wanted to give her more and more to do there but knew she didn’t have the schedule for it. They were losing cadets and he didn’t think it was because they couldn’t keep up with the course load. It was because they weren’t being properly instructed or bored to death.

“I am a man of many talents, SSA Strauss. I don’t like to brag, but…”

“Mmm hmm.” Erin nodded. “Would you like to step out of character for a moment and gossip with me?”

“I love gossip.” Kirk crossed his legs and let out an uproarious laugh. “What's the dish? See, I even know the lingo.”

Erin always laughed when Kirk laughed. He had a very serious job. He’d seen a lot; seen too much. And now he was wheeling, dealing, and politicking to keep the Bureau up and running. Yet his sense of humor remained intact. Kirk Douglas’ sharp wit was legendary in the Bureau. 

If you came out on the wrong side of him then you would damn sure know it. If not, it was really best to keep it that way. As her mentor, he could be tough with Erin when he needed to be. In her regular life, he was one of the gentlest and most supportive people she knew. In the Bureau he was her light in the dark.

“What can you tell me about Alex Blake?” she asked.

“She's a linguist out of New York,” Kirk replied. “She's one of the best. I believe she’s also teaching at CCNY. I did hear something about her coming to Georgetown for a tenured position. The Linguistics Department could use her. DC could surely use her.”

“So you don’t know anything about her being up for a position at the BAU?”

“No.” he shook his head. “There aren't any positions currently open at the BAU.”

“Hall is retiring in 90 days or so.” Erin said. “And it’s not that I wouldn’t welcome her with open arms, we women have to stick together. I've just been hearing things so I wondered.”

“Hearing things where?”

“Just around.” She shrugged. “For as much as men talk about women when it comes to speculation and pontification, they're guiltier of it than we are.”

“I'm not prepared to argue with that.” Kirk said. “So you're going to Idaho next week?”

“Yeah.” Erin nodded. “This is the big time.”

“You’ve been in the big time pretty much since you graduated the Academy.”

“I need to prove I can handle myself in the field, Kirk.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked. “You worked in West Germany for nine months doing counterterrorism. You traveled around the world to bomb sites and chased terrorist organizations. You’ve sat in rooms with Soviet delegations. You were part of a team that briefed Presidents. You were in the room, Erin. Max Ryan has never been in the room.”

“I know that.”

“There is nothing left to prove.”

“I only wish that were true.”

“Some of those men are never going to experience the field that you’ve experienced…no matter how many good stories they can tell.” Kirk said. “That’s what burns them the most.”

“There's a possibility of Max joining us on the case.” Erin said. “I would rather pick my eyes out with a butter knife than to stay at a hotel with him.”

“Well that was colorful.” Kirk made a face. “I doubt he will. While you didn’t hear this from me, Kent may have a serial. Scotland Yard has requested an FBI team to investigate, assess, and analyze the situation. There is no way Ryan would miss the glare of the international spotlight. Norma Desmond is past ready for his close-up.”

“Mmm hmm…douche.” She rolled her eyes.

“But you're OK, right?” he asked.

“I'm fine.”

“Which you usually say whether you are or not.”

“I can handle Max, Kirk.”

“In the two years you’ve been in the BAU, there are at least six incidents between the two of you. Those are the ones I know of. They are always perpetrated by him. They should’ve been reported.”

“What good would that do?” she asked. “I don’t want to be labeled a pariah; shipped off to Wyoming or God forbid, New Jersey. I can handle Max.”

“You know if you need me for anything…”

“I know.” Erin nodded.

Kirk was like a father to her and their connection happened quickly after they met. Like her amazing biological father before him, people assumed Erin got where she did because of the powerful men in her life. It wasn’t true then and it wasn’t true now. After a while she got tired of defending herself. The rumors were never going to stop and the work was too important to get wrapped up in other people’s assessments of her. 

“I just want to go to Hayden, work the case, and see if we can stop this killer. That’s what I need to focus on. The work must remain my top priority.”

“Have you talked to Aaron Hotchner about this field assignment?” Kirk asked.

“I'm sorry?” she countered.

Erin looked at her mentor. She’d been in his office for nearly an hour, needed to get back in her car soon and return to Quantico. She would work late tonight, making up her proctoring time and then some with the files on her desk. Erin was hoping Max Ryan wasn’t around. She’d actually been thinking about ways to avoid him when Kirk asked the question. This was one of the few times in her life Erin Strauss was speechless.

“I know that you two are close.” Kirk decided to ignore her stall tactic. He also wasn’t going to feed into it.

“We’re not.” Erin shook her head.

“Having friends is essential to making it in this world Erin. We've talked about this on many occasions. You need people to have your back. You need a life outside of the Bureau’s gilded cage. There is nothing wrong with being close to Aaron Hotchner.”

“Aaron Hotchner and I are not friends. We’re just colleagues and don’t even work that closely.”

Erin always thought she would tell people they were friends if asked. She guessed people didn’t include Kirk Douglas. She had no idea why; he was one of the few people she could tell anything.

“Well he's a good man; you should be friends.”

“Well we’re not.” Erin shook her head again.

“I love you, kiddo, but you're a lousy liar.”

“Kirk…”

“Stop.” His voice was gentle as he put his hand on her shoulder. “You're lying to me but I've accepted it. Maybe you're lying to yourself as well. I know that you and Aaron have been leaning on each other. 

“That’s not a crime. You’ve gained a lot but lost things working your way up the FBI ladder. There is nothing wrong spending time with someone who knows where you're coming from. He can bring good things to the table.”

“This conversation just became awkward. I don’t do awkward well.” It was a rare burst of complete honesty from Erin. 

Kirk didn’t even work at Quantico so if he suspected things about her and Aaron, then who else did? Did Jason Gideon? Did Max? Would Aaron’s job be in danger if anyone thought they had an improper relationship? 

Many men in the BAU were friends and no one thought twice about it. But Erin was a woman and it seemed as if everything she did was about sex. She wouldn’t let Aaron take the fall for getting close to her. She refused to even contemplate taking the fall for him.

“Get out of here.” Kirk smiled as he pointed to the door of his large office. “Be safe in Hayden; I know you're going to do excellent work. We’ll have lunch when you get back.”

“Bye Kirk.” She waved and walked out of the office. 

She wouldn’t be able to avoid the Aaron conversation forever. Kirk was perceptive and didn’t mind calling her out on things. She and Aaron were not a thing. If she discussed it with anyone then it would become a thing. Erin was dealing with enough…she couldn’t deal with that too.

***

“Are you alright?”

“I'm fine.” She nodded.

“You're out by the dumpsters having a cigarette.” Hotch said. “In no universe does that constitute fine.”

“I'm fine.” Erin repeated. “I'm out by the dumpsters because I was hoping for a little privacy and people rarely come back here. I have to say it doesn’t smell as raunchy as usual today.”

“Are you sure?”

“I need you to stop, Aaron.”

“Stop what?” he asked.

Erin wanted to tell him to stop caring but the words forming in her mouth sounded so cruel and tasted foul. Anyway, asking if she was alright didn’t mean he really cared at all. Gideon had already asked her twice today. There was no way in hell she planned to tell her boss that she wasn’t.

She told him she was, continuing to chip away at the paperwork on her desk. The men didn’t need to know when Erin was fine and when she felt off kilter. They were always looking for points of weakness, in each other and especially in her. She planned to spend some time in the mirror soon making sure that her game face stayed glued on.

“I really am fine, and that’s the truth. I had a difficult morning and a busy afternoon. It’ll probably be a long night.”

“And you're leaving for Idaho on Monday.” He said.

“What's your schedule like next week?”

“I'm heading to Appleton, Georgia for a church vandalism case that could be escalating. The files will be on my desk by the end of the day. It’s going to be a long weekend.”

“You're supposed to be with Jack this weekend.” Erin said. She shouldn’t have known Aaron’s schedule with his four year old son as well as she did but it mirrored hers with Nora.

“I don’t want to back out on time with Jack.” Hotch shook his head. “I don’t want to give Haley the satisfaction of consoling me about a being a shitty father while affirming that I'm a shitty father. I'm picking him up tomorrow and he's going to spend the night. Then we’ll spend most of Saturday together, have an early dinner, and I’ll take him back to his mom. That gives me Saturday night and Sunday to work.”

“That’s not a lot of time, with Jack I mean. Somehow we always find the time to work.”

“I know, but it’s what I have right now. My job keeps me busy but I don’t want Jack getting completely lost in the shuffle of that. I give him what I can. It’s more than my father gave to me, not that that makes it any better. It probably makes it worse. I shouldn’t even have said that.” Hotch crossed his arms, the look on his face as if he smelled something rancid.

“One day we’re going to look back on our lives and what we did for a living isn’t going to matter one damn bit. I know we puff out our chests, talk about saving the world. What does it matter if our families don’t even know us?”

“I didn’t get into this job for the glory.” Hotch said. “It might be simpler if I had. It would’ve also been a huge waste of my time.”

“Tell that to Max Ryan.” Erin rolled her eyes.

“You really hate him, don’t you?” 

“Oh, let me count the ways.”

“One day I would like to know that story.” He said.

“Or not.” She shook her head.

“Are you going to have Nora this weekend?”

Hotch changed the subject. It surely wasn’t easy for her being the only woman in the BAU. There had been one before her but that was also before Hotch’s time. Her hate for Max was so visceral and he saw the anger and melancholy in her eyes whenever he came up in conversation. 

He thought it might be about more than just sexual harassment, which they all knew about but rarely confronted, as if that wasn’t bad enough. Hotch wanted to stop thinking about it but couldn’t. Maybe he was looking for a reason to knock Max Ryan on his ass. It wasn’t fair to use Erin when he had plenty all by himself.

“I'm picking her up tomorrow evening at seven.” Erin replied. “She has fencing practice on Saturday morning and even though she hates when I do it, I plan to stay and watch. I'm really looking forward to pretending we have a normal life for 46 hours or so. I'm going to make her dinner and help with her book report. She read _Harriet the Spy_. I'm fine, Aaron.”

“I didn’t ask again.”

“I know you were thinking about it.”

“Now who’s profiling who?” he asked.

“I'm almost done with this cigarette.” Erin said. “You should go in before me.”

“Seriously?” Hotch didn’t want to smirk but couldn’t help it. “I don’t think we need to play that game.”

There was nothing illicit about talking outside. If Erin was a man then this wouldn’t even be part of their conversation. Hotch didn’t like that even the appearance that they were acquaintances was improper or somehow undesirable. Erin couldn’t shake that someone had it out for her and wasn’t above using what had developed between them as their means. Sometimes Hotch thought she might even think he was in on it. Who was getting more paranoid, her or him?

“Please just do as I ask, Aaron. For once.”

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath. “I’ll see you.”

Erin nodded, watching him go back into the side door. She leaned against the brick wall and listened to the rain fall. Alex Blake hadn’t left her mind since Anderson told her about it first thing this morning. She wanted to ask Aaron if he knew anything about it but the idea that he might act clueless when he wasn’t only made Erin feel worse.

She’d waiting for her chance to break out for two years. She felt bad for thinking about Blake, who by all accounts was an exemplary agent, only for what was between her thighs. Hadn’t she been fighting the same thoughts and treatment? Alex Blake and Erin Strauss were more than their gender. 

Being women had no bearing on how good or bad of an agent you could be. But Erin knew the game in Quantico. There was only room for one vagina around here at the moment. Maybe someday things would get better. That day was not today.

***

“This is really good.” Erin looked up from the paper, her round glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. She pushed them up. “I've made note of some grammar issues and the end could be a little stronger. I'm not going to rewrite the paper for you. I just want you to write the best paper you can. If you want to ignore my critique then that’s OK.”

“I knew there were some places it could be better.” Nora put her fork down on her plate. She had been eating Hamburger Helper, which she ate a lot at her mom’s house. It was good. Erin was getting better with seasoning. “That’s why I wanted you to read it. I'm going to look over it again on Sunday when I go home. It’s not due until Tuesday.”

“Well I like it.” Erin slid the paper across the dining room table. She didn’t want to get any dinner on it. “90 minutes until bedtime, sweetie. Make sure the paper goes back into your book bag. I don’t want you leaving it here by accident.”

“Can I have some dessert?” Nora asked.

“You had seconds with dinner, Nora.”

“What if I get hungry in the middle of the night? Kids my age have to consume a large number of calories to be nourished, especially athletes. I read that in a book.”

“We’ll get ice cream tomorrow after fencing, I promise. And as for the hungry in the middle of the night thing, your metabolism and digestion slow down in sleep mode. The dinner should sustain you until you wake up in the morning. I read that in a book.”

“Oh.” Nora seemed disappointed.

“Good argument though,” Erin playfully pinched her cheek. “You almost had me there for a minute. There is something I need to talk to you about though.”

“Is it traumatic? Should I have dessert first?”

“Nora…”

“OK.” The eleven year old nodded. She could hear it in her mom’s voice; it was time to get serious.”

Erin gave her daughter a smile. She loved her so much and not being able to be with her whenever she wanted was physically painful. When the courts gave Eli primary physical custody nearly three years ago it was like a kick in the gut. The logical side of Erin understood why. That didn’t make the transition any easier. 

Eli was around no more than Erin was, less actually. Her job description required travel and there was no judge in his right mind who was going to let an eight year old be shuffled from house to house on the whims of a busy mother’s schedule. The irony was that Erin hadn’t had a single field assignment in the BAU yet. Sometimes she felt she’d lost her daughter for nothing.

Meanwhile Eli, the pediatric cardiologist at Johns Hopkins, was never home. Nora was mostly in the care of an au pair. Erin didn’t trust the woman, and with good reason. In six months she was going to be the new Mrs. Eli Strauss. Some people needed to be more careful what they wished for.

“I have to take a trip for work.” She said.

“You’re going to the field!” her big, hazel eyes got even bigger. “Are you going after a serial killer?”

“Hey now, you know we don’t talk about those kinds of things. My work is really serious and can be scary sometimes.”

“Aww, c'mon Mom…I'm not a baby anymore. I'm almost eleven. I'm not even scared of most stuff anymore.”

“You're my baby.” Erin said firmly. “I'm just going to leave it at a work assignment.”

“Where are you going?” Nora asked. 

She wanted to know everything about what her mother did but Erin was tight-lipped. Nora had actually gone to the public library and looked up things on the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Her mom was one of the most elite agents in the FBI. She tracked down people like Ted Bundy and the Ku Klux Klan. Who wouldn’t want to tell awesome stories about that? Maybe one day Nora could convince her.

“I'm going to Idaho and I could be gone for about a week. I'm not sure I'm going to be back for our next weekend visit and I know I won't be here for our usual Wednesday dinner.”

“I have my fencing match next Tuesday.” Nora said. “You're going to be there for that, right? Ally Oberlin is the best in our age group. I think I have a chance to win though. I've been practicing so hard and I'm getting better.”

Nora was an epee fencer just as her mother and grandmother had been. It ran in the Parkinson family; she planned to keep it going. Joanna had been good, Erin had been exceptional, and Nora was showing promise. This was the age where most girls decided to get in or get out. If Nora continued to fence it was going to be a serious undertaking. Being a preteen and teen elite athlete took up many hours in the day. It became life.

“I want to promise you that I’ll be there,” Erin replied. “But you know the rules.”

“We never make promises that we can't keep.”

“Exactly.” Erin nodded. “I’ll do my best to be there but if not, Aunt Ursula will come with the camcorder. I’ll make her cheer loudly and be obnoxious if you want me to.”

“No.” Nora shook her head and laughed. “I'm really proud of you, Mom. The BAU is gonna see how awesome you are.”

“I'm hoping that they already have. Still, I'm going to miss spending our time together. I hate that we don’t see each other as much as either one of us would like.”

“Your job is just as important as Daddy’s, Mom.”

“Being your mom is important to me too. I love you the most, Nora.”

“I love you more than that.” She smiled and it reminded Erin of her mother.

“OK kiddo, if you want to read or work on your art you should wash up and get in bed now.”

“OK.” Nora nodded.

“An hour and fifteen minutes.” Erin pointed to her watch.

“I know.”

She left the dining room, going down the hall to her bedroom. Sighing, Erin got up from her chair as well. She went to the living room first and turned on the radio to her favorite station. The love songs show was on. 

Erin cleaned off the dining room table from dinner. In the kitchen she rinsed the dishes, put them in the dishwasher, and then turned a low fire on under the teakettle. She took a cigarette from her pack in the first cabinet drawer. Erin stopped for a moment in the middle of the living room when Rod Stewart’s voice came out of the speakers.

 _I don’t want you to come around here no more  
I beg you for mercy  
You don’t know how strong my weakness is  
Or how much it hurts me  
Cuz when you say it’s over with him,   
I want to believe it’s true  
So I let you in, knowing tomorrow  
I'm gonna wake up missing you  
Wake up missing you_…

The night was a little chilly; she shivered as she walked onto her balcony. There was a beautiful view of the nation’s capital from her condo even if the clouds and rain made everything look dreary. The Washington Monument was hard to make out but Erin focused on it as she took a deep inhale. She had no idea why she was so nervous about this trip.

This wasn’t her first case. Her first analysis of an unknown subject didn’t even make her nervous. Everything she’d done so far was leading up to this moment. She knew she could do it. Erin was one of the best in the unit. That wasn’t just her pride talking.

Working the Hayden case wasn’t just about gold stars and increasing her standing amongst other analysts. If she failed then more people would die. That was the kind of thing that kept Erin up at night. It was how she justified being away from her daughter as much as she was. And it was why she could not fail.

Walking back into the condo and into the kitchen, the telephone rang. Erin grabbed the cordless from the wall and pulled up the antenna.

“Hello.” She turned off the whistling teakettle.

“Hey there.”

“Hey.”

“I just wanted to say hello.” Aaron said. “I know I saw you earlier but I also know this case has been worrying you. I thought I would check in.”

“There are times when I'm say I'm fine and I'm not. This actually wasn’t one of those times. Do you have Jack?”

“He's sound asleep after chicken nuggets, _The Muppets_ , some bad dancing to The Miracles, and a _Little Critter_ bedtime story. Do you have Nora?”

“Her paper on _Harriet the Spy_ was really good.” Erin replied. “She's excited about my field assignment but worried I could miss her fencing match next Tuesday. Ally Oberlin, her opponent, is the best in their age group. If Nora wins the match it will really boost her confidence. I want to be there for that.”

“Pray; just pray very hard.”

“I've never been the praying type. I think I might be a little too old and set in my ways to change.”

“Do you want to have dinner tomorrow evening?” Hotch asked. “I'm dropping Jack off around six so…”

“I'm keeping Nora until Sunday. Considering I’ll be going out of town for a while, I don’t want to miss a second of my time with her.”

“I understand that completely. I thought she was going home tomorrow and you might like some company. Am I asking too much, Erin? Am I pushing too hard? This isn’t supposed to be a thing where we do that.”

“Sometimes.” She made a little sound of laughter. Picking up her teacup, Erin went back outside onto the balcony. She sat in her chair and just watched the rainfall. “Sometimes I want to tell you to stop. Sometimes I appreciate it more than you know, Aaron. It’s me; it’s not you.”

“Can we just call it even and say it’s both of us?” he asked.

“I can do that. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Not to mention the no fraternization rule that the FBI holds so dear. If we’re suspected of something improper…”

“It’s not exactly a no fraternization rule. It’s a rule stating that agents must behave with decorum befitting the motto of the Bureau at all times. Those times include when conducting interpersonal relationships. Never have I seen you do anything but. It’s just dinner.”

“We’ll go when I come back from Idaho and maybe compare war stories.” She said. “I'm sure Appleton won't be a walk in the park.”

“I’ll get us a reservation somewhere,” Hotch said. “You can wear something pretty. I can put on a suit.”

“That sounds a little bit like a date, Agent Hotchner.”

“I think it’s a question of semantics.”

“Well you should know, in the interest of full disclosure that I don’t put out on the first date.”

“I just want dinner…something nice.”

“Nice, huh?” Erin asked. “I thought you liked it when I was mean to you.”

“I like you when you're mean.” He replied. “I like you when you’re nice. I just like you, Erin. It’s alright if you say no to this though.”

“What woman in her right mind turns down a free meal, and at a place that requires reservations no less? Uh uh, I'm in. You had me at reservations.”

“Who said it would be free?” Hotch asked. 

“You said you just wanted dinner.”

“I was thinking about going Dutch.”

“I was thinking about hanging up the phone.” Erin laughed some.

“Ahh, you're all for equality until the check comes.” Hotch laughed. “It’s almost the 21st century; maybe _I_ want to be wooed.”

“Woo this, Hotch.”

“I don’t even want to guess what you're doing right now.”

He laughed, loving the way she said his name. She always called him Aaron. She didn’t seem to think it was complicated that her name was Erin and they sounded so much alike. Hotch was who he was with the guys. 

Even though he came into the BAU with the nickname, most people didn’t know that. There was always someone out there who thought they came up with it first. But he wasn’t Hotch to Erin. He wasn’t exactly sure who he was but he didn’t have to be Hotch. That was a great feeling.

“We’ll dress nice, sit, and we’ll talk.” He said. “We won't talk about work, too much, we won't talk about the thing. We’ll just talk.”

“You want to know my favorite book and the film that moves me to tears?” she asked.

“I just want to know you. I think I know SSA Strauss quite well. Getting to know Erin will be a pleasure, I'm sure of it.”

“Be careful what you wish for.” Erin said.

“I’ll let you go. I don’t want to take up too much of your time with Nora. I’ll talk to you next week when you get back. Goodnight, Erin.”

“Goodnight.”

She turned off the phone and put it on the table. Dinner, with reservations and no sex afterward. They were going on a date. Erin wasn’t supposed to be going on dates. She certainly shouldn’t be going on dates with other analysts. 

Sometimes all she wanted was to let go. Sometimes she would lie next to Aaron and wonder what it might be like to be that person for him. She didn’t think she was that person. So Erin did her best not to think at all. Except Aaron Hotchner always seemed to have something up his sleeve to make her do just that. It was hard hating someone and possibly falling in love with them at the same time.

***

“Do you hate me?”

“I'm sorry, what?” Erin looked at Dave as he sat across from her on the jet. The BAU had a jet, and she was going to be in the air alone with Dave Rossi for five hours.

“I have this feeling that you don’t like me, Agent. My mother always called it my sixth sense.”

“I don’t hate you, sir.” She shook her head.

“Do you like your job?” Dave asked.

“I love my job.” Erin’s defenses went up. What exactly was he getting at?

“I’d like to see you relax a little and enjoy it more, for lack of a better word.”

“We must be doing different jobs, sir. Relaxing really isn’t part of the BAU mantra.”

“I think some of us manage to do OK.” Dave smiled. “This is not a test, Erin. I already know that you're a damn good analyst. I have faith in your work and know you have a future in it. I just want you to relax. You could give yourself an aneurysm if you don’t.”

“Max Ryan makes me uncomfortable.”

Erin couldn’t believe she said it out loud. It wasn’t if she hadn’t before but she wasn’t talking to Kirk or Aaron or her mother; this was David Rossi. He was just as much her superior as Ryan was. Not that anyone would say that the men were friends. Still, he wasn’t going to sit around and shit talk a fellow agent. Was he?

“He does that to a lot of women. My mother called _that_ creepiness.”

“She would be correct.” Erin nodded.

“Max isn’t always going to be there, Erin, and Max isn’t the BAU. You are the BAU. Aaron Hotchner is the BAU. There are some other agents who I think will also do well in the future. We old dogs won't always be around barking out orders. The young pups need the right environment to thrive in. That’s why I got you the hell out of Quantico.”

“I would say I appreciate it sir.”

“You would say?” Dave raised an eyebrow.

“I spent a lot of time going over the case files this weekend.” Erin said.

“Let’s talk about that.”

“Four women have been murdered in six months, though there's the possibility of seven victims. The women are all in their mid to late 30s, same body type, hair color, and general appearance. One was married, two divorced, and one single who recently moved to town. It’s not a big town so finding a common denominator amongst the victims might not necessarily lead to their murderer. Analyzing small town Unsubs has always been difficult.”

“Talk to me about M.O.” Rossi said sipping his coffee.

“It’s a classic blitz attack.” Erin leafed through the crime scene photos of the second victim, Laura Collins. “The Unsub attacks them in bed in the middle of the night. Most of the crimes take place between three and five in the morning. 

“He immediately chokes the victim into submission before binding and sexually assaulting them. After the rape he stabs them. The M.E.’s report says that one victim had at least twenty stab wounds and it looks as if a classic switchblade is the weapon of choice. This Unsub isn’t fond of kill shots though; he wants his pleasure to last.”

“He sounds like a sadist.”

“I don’t think so, sir.” Erin shook her head. “While the blood may get him off in some way, I don’t think the victim’s pain does.”

“Why not?” Rossi asked. “You said he wants to make his pleasure last. Isn’t his pleasure the victim’s pain?”

“Not necessarily; his pleasure is his act. Only one victim was reported to have screamed or possibly fought during the assault. I believe they are most likely unconscious during most of the crime. He could achieve the same end with a lot less mess.”

“Maybe he tried and failed. He rapes, but stabbing usually points to impotence.”

“He could be impotent in other ways.” She said. “The victims are more mature; they could be a stand-in for a hated parent or teacher if he's young or a lost girlfriend or wife if he's older. The Unsub is definitely a power assurance rapist. They either want their victims to fight to the death or they immediately put them down in a showing of strength and control. 

“I think the stabbing is to make sure they’re dead. Blood flow stops almost immediately after death. With a strangulation, the victim could play dead rather convincingly. We should look into reported rapes in the area before the murders. 

“It would be the same M.O. without the stabbing.” Erin went on. “It’s possible that his first murder victim faked death and was caught. It’s possible she saw his face. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to choke her to death; it’s not as easy as TV makes it look. 

“So he took his knife and finished the job. He realized that one component was what he’d been missing the whole time…his signature was complete. The combination of power and rage sated the beast for a while. If we find past rapes there will be a shorter cooling off period because he couldn’t stop the urges.”

“Maybe.” Rossi said.

“Maybe.” Erin nodded. “I noticed something else about the victims, sir. It was kind of hard to miss.”

“I hope you're still working on that sir thing.”

“They all have a resemblance to me.” Erin said ignoring him. 

“And 5 million other white, blonde women in this country, surely.” Dave said. “OK, 5 million is a slight exaggeration…I would say 2.5 million.”

“I find it to be more than coincidence that my first field assignment would be a case where the victims have characteristics and looks quite similar to mine.”

“I don’t know what you're getting at, Agent Strauss.”

“I feel as if I'm about to be dangled as bait, sir.”

“I have no intention of putting you in any kind of unnecessary danger.” Dave said.

“That doesn’t really address my concern at all.” Erin shook her head.

“There will be more questions, Agent, and possibly concerns. With hard work we could find answers in small town Hayden.”

“Just so you know…you sound like a fortune cookie.” She rolled her eyes and went back to looking through the crime scene files.

***


End file.
